Secrets

We all have secrets right? I't can't be just me. I am tired of keeping it all in, I just wanna let it out. I'm sorry if maybe they are sad, or if they seem like I am breaking down. But I am happy, and not all secrets are good, but I will throw in a few good ones just to brighten this post. 

I spent so much money on fake tan, make-up, fake eyelashes, hair products to make myself beautiful for him. And I am still waiting for the day that you will notice me. But I am done, and I don't care anymore, notice me or not, I am getting on with my life. 

I wore makeup. I dyed my hair. I wore high heels. I wore girly clothes. I used to dress how I wanted, but even that has changed. So today I have decided that I will stop, stop the make-up, stop the dyed hair, stop the high heels, and stop the stupid clothes I hate. And I am going to be me, 100% and I don't care weather you think I look good or not, because that's me, love me or hate me. 

I have stopped crying. Because a long time ago I realized that it won't change a thing, and that I was just wasting my time. It has been two years and I haven't shed a single tear, and I don't plan on getting sad or breaking down for a long long time. 

I am a nerd. I have all A's, I went off the charts on state testing. I go home and sit on the computer for hours role-play to escape from the real world. And It makes me smile. 

If anyone wants to post their secrets here to share you can, I hope you do, and that they are happier secrets than most of mine. Thanks for reading.